If only Ray and CP and Mo were here.

 

I felt the bus shake a little bit . . . that was you guys? Hope you didn't breathe the fumes.

Now, see, you didn't tell me all this before hand. I thought this was an "all or nothing" kind of decision that had to be made. Since the things I like the most are native to the female species I didn't want to shoot myself in the foot.

You must remember that I've been married for 19 years. In those 19 years, I have learned that if you ever want the chance of "BENEFITS" to ever be offered again, one must assimulate . . . and, resistance is futile.

Take advice from our good friend Lenny

Jeremy Riggs wrote:

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We just need to stick together so the women realize that we still have SOME control over our own lives.

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Ah, believe what you will, my single friend...

It took me ten years to marry her, I still have a little will power left. This month it will only be two years.

Oh, so you're still in phase three.

See, in phase one, they are attracted to your spirit and manly attributes and you are married.

Phase two they begin to hate your spirit and manly attributes but yet somhow find themselves attracted to every other man that still has sprit and manly attributes.

Phase three, they begin to use witholding of "BENEFITS" as a way to rid you of that sprit and those manly attributes while feeding high calorie meals you to fatten you up.

In Phase four, once they have you fattened up enough that no other woman would want you, they no longer need to use "BENEFITS" to control you. At that point, all "BENEFITS" are cut off and you are left to wait for the sweet relief that only death can provide.

Oh, I'm just kidding.

I am happily married, my wife says so.